1979

I’m now transported to the year 1979 where everyone in Harrisburg is getting excited. They’re all going to be glowing in the dark if that nuclear power plant on that island melts down. Some guy that calls himself Ayatollah something melts down and holds a bunch of people hostage. President Jimmy isn’t very happy and he huffs and puffs and does nothing. Merry Christmas.

Everybody is roller discoing to Le Freak by the Village People. I hear the Village People are Anita Bryant’s favorite group. I try out for the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders but they tell me I’m too young; I should join the Raiderettes instead. No, talking dog, she isn’t your Sharona, she’s My Sharona. Okay, so it isn’t my Sharona either.

There’s a new sound they’re calling New Wave. Is that like Old Wave, only newer? What are they going to call New Wave when it’s old? Blondie?

One of the big movies this year is Apocalypse Now because I love the smell of  Napalm in the morning. Actually, I like Citrus Scent  better. That reminds me; what is that purple stuff they keep talking about in those commercials? I hope it isn’t that new laundry detergent.

The Blues Brothers are the biggest thing since the Rutles. I hope Elwood doesn’t take his shades off. I hear he looks just like Dan Aykroyd but the talking dog is probably high on Liv-a-Snaps again, ruff, ruff.

I’m going to take my Mr. Microphone and go home. Meanwhile, here are my top twenty-five of 1979.

Event of the year: Disco Demolition Night: Chicago is burned to the ground.

Fad: Bomb shelters are back

Babe of the Year: The bald headed chick in the Star Trek movie.

Scandal of the Year: Miss Piggy cuts Kermit the Frog’s legs off

Movie or TV show to barf to: The Love Boat

What we could have done without: Roller Disco

Pet of the year: The Shah of Iran

Other Tidbits: USSR invades Afghanistan but forgets to bring weapons, Margaret Thatcher becomes Britain PM, promises milk for all, ESPN launches; curling becomes the national sport, Three Mile Island plant explodes in China, The Shah is overthrown in Iran, the Ayatollah hosts 52 American Guests, Saddam Hussein takes over Iraq, is most beloved world leader since Stalin, Idi Amin is deposed and signs a five year contract with the Philadelphia 76ers, It snows in the Sahara, Astronomers discover that Saturn has rings, Marlon Brando found mad in a Vietnam jungle, says he loves the smell of napalm in the morning, everyone says Steve Martin is a jerk.

Musically it was mostly New Wave for me. There’s a little Classic Rock on this list. Well, no, it’s pretty much New Wave.

Anyhoo, here is the top twenty-five of 1979.

1)  Elvis Costello- Armed Forces

2)  The B-52s – The B-52s

3)  David Bowie- Lodger

4)  Blondie- Eat To the Beat

5)  The Specials- The Specials

6)  Pink Floyd- The Wall

7)  Devo- Duty Now For the Future

8)  Joy Division- Unknown Pleasures

9)  Neil Young and Crazy Horse- Rust Never Sleeps

10)  XTC- Drums and Wires

11)  The Undertones- The Undertones

12)  The Police- Outlandos D’Amour

13)  Frank Zappa- Joe’s Garage Acts I, II, and III

14) The Cure- Three Imaginary Boys

15)  Graham Parker and the Rumour- Squeezing Out Sparks

16)  Joe Jackson- Look Sharp

17)  Wire- 154

18)  Gang of Four- Entertainment

19)  Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers- Damn the Torpedoes

20)  Talking Heads- Fear of Music

21)  The Last- LA Explosion

22)  The Fall- Live at the Witch Trials

23)  Siouxsie and the Banshees- Join Hands

24)  Buzzcocks- A Different Kind of Tension

25)  The Soft Boys- A Can of Bees

Elvis Costello again gets the gold ring with what is my other favorite album by him. Accidents Will Happen, which opens the album, is my favorite all time Costello song, and the other tracks show how he has grown in three short years. The B-52s get the silver with their fun debut album. Rock Lobster is another favorite of mine. Bowie’s best album since Alladin Sane comes in at three while Blondie and the Specials (another recommendation for ska fans) round out the top five. I put The Wall in at number six while other gems includes the dark Joy Division, a great pop effort by the Undertones, The Cure, and The Soft Boys at twenty-five. I didn’t put London Calling on this twenty-five because I always associated it with 1980, so you’ll see the Clash next year. As it is, I had to leave some pretty good albums out of this twenty-five and HMs (The Police and Marianne Faithful miss the cut).1979 was that good a year.

Biggest Surprise- Frank Zappa- Joe’s Garage Acts I, II, and III

I really love early Zappa. He tails off a little after Zoot Allures, but this album, set in a three part suite and actually released on two different albums, really is a standout. I guess in a sense this is a rock opera the only way Frank Zappa could do one. It’s typically goofy as Zappa records tend to be. It’s a mixture of comical genius and impeccable musicianship. It’s quite an enjoyable listen.

Also check out the Last and LA Explosion. This is probably the closest thing you’ll ever get to folk rock punk. Cool album.

Biggest Disappointment-  Patti Smith- Wave.

This despite my all time favorite Patti Smith song, Dancing Barefoot, being on it. That’s about it, though. Her other known songs on the album, Frederick, and the Byrds’ cover, So You Want To Be a Rock n Roll Star, are meh at best and the other tracks aren’t any better. So, yeah, after three incredible albums, the fourth one is kind of a disappointment.

Honorable Mentions-  The Raincoats- The Raincoats, The Damned- Machine Gun Etiquette, Gary Numan and Tubeway Army- Replicas, Squeeze- Cool For Cats, The Flying Lizards- The Flying Lizards.

Stinker of the Year-  Ethel Merman- The Ethel Merman Disco Album.

Yeah, this one’s a classic. Ethel Merman sings show tunes to disco. I wonder if anyone ever noticed that Ethel sings about as well as Mrs. Miller. There’s No Business Like Show Business is a real show stopper, literally. Well, she always fancied herself as a comedienne.

So there goes another decade. Only four more to go (most of four anyway, 38 years to be exact- god I’m old). Anyway, see you next time.