1966

The talking dog has transported me to the year 1966.

And what a year it is. Everyone is wearing day-glo. The boys have long hair and are growing beards which have scientists going mad- ten year old boys can’t grow beards yet. The girls are wearing skirts that show their thighs- how shocking. I showed my toes at the beach once and I got caned by a school marm named Carrie Nation. Boy was she an alkie. Does she or doesn’t she? I guess she doesn’t.

Crime is at an all time low because of some guy that wants to look like a bat and some kid in a mask. He calls himself Robin but he doesn’t look like a bird to me. He must be some sort of joker. Why are they throwing tomatoes at me?

The shows on TV are all saying they’re in color which is a shock to the majority that still have black and white TVs. Some clown says the Beatles were bigger than Jesus. That’s not true; Jesus is at least six foot eleven. I know because he plays basketball for the Harlem Globetrotters. It also proves that Jesus isn’t even white (actually I think Jesus Alou is Mexican but he doesn’t even play basketball). Whatever, I think I’m in love with Batman. Keep your claws off him, Catwoman!

They’re having a riot on Sunset Strip. Where’s the Green Hornet when you need him? I want to be a contestant on the Dating Game because everybody says I look like Twiggy. Okay, so they tell me I look like Phyllis Diller, some people need to get glasses.

Well, anyway, I guess it’s time to review 1966. Beam me up, talking dog.

Event of the year: Mr. Spock fails to take over the Starship Enterprise

Fad:  Burning Beatle records

Babe of the Year:  Catwoman

Scandal of the Year: Batman gets drunk off milk on national TV

Movie or TV show to barf to: Three On a Match (Jerry Lewis)

What we could have done without: China’s cultural revolution

Pet of the year: The Lost in Space robot

Other Tidbits: Historians announce that at least one German POW camp was a barrel of laughs, says Professor Wilhelm Klink, John Lennon says The Beatles are better looking than Jesus and  Alabama invades Liverpool, Batman complains you just can’t get rid of a bomb, Charles Whitman wins the Texas Clock Tower shooting event and joins the NRA, Miranda is warned not to do it again, The Pink Panther is dyed Black, Ronald Reagan becomes Queen of England, Oh, the pain- the pain!

1966 may be my favorite year musically, though 67 and 68 may have been better years for albums. Anyway, here we go…

1)  The Beatles- Revolver

2) The Beach Boys- Pet Sounds

3)  Mothers of Invention- Freak Out

4)  The Kinks- Face To Face

5)  The Rolling Stones- Aftermath

6)  The Thirteenth Floor Elevators- The Psychedelic Sounds of the Thirteenth Floor Elevators

7)  Simon and Garfunkel- The Sounds of Silence

8)  The Byrds- Fifth Dimension

9)  The Seeds- The Seeds

10)  Bob Dylan- Blonde On Blonde

11)  Simon and Garfunkel- Parsley, Sage, Rosemary, and Thyme

12)  Donovan- Sunshine Superman

13)  The Who- A Quick One While He’s Away

14)  John Lee Hooker- It Serves You Right To Suffer

15)  Phil Ochs- In Concert

16)  The Mamas and the Papas- If You Can Believe Your Eyes and Ears

17)  John Coltrane- Ascension

18)  Otis Redding- Complete and Unbelievable: The Otis Redding Dictionary of Soul

19)  The Seeds- A Web of Sound

20)  Love- Da Capo

21)  Tim Buckley- Tim Buckley

22)  The Remains- The Remains

23)  The Young Rascals- The Young Rascals

24)  Cream- Fresh Cream

25)  The Everly Brothers- Two Yanks in England

Yes, 67 and 68 are better album years but 1966 is no slouch. The Beatles hold the top spot for the fourth straight year followed by another deserving number one, the Beach Boys’ brilliant Pet Sounds that would greatly influence the Beatles’ magnus opus next year. It’s a year for experimentation as Zappa comes in at number three. The first of several classic albums by the Kinks comes in at number four, while the Stones come back and round out the top five. The Thirteenth Floor Elevators and the Byrds also score standouts in the top ten as do the Seeds. Simon and Garfunkel score twice on this chart, Parsley, Sage, etc. just missing the top ten. Other gems include Sunshine Superman, a classic John Lee Hooker entry, John Coltrane’s last great piece, a surprisingly good Mamas and Papas album, and an equally surprising Everly Brothers who prove they still have it. Also check out Eric Clapton and the Bluesbreakers in the honorable mentions. Maybe it’s here where the heavy lead guitar that would define the seventies begins.

Biggest Surprise-  Tim Buckley- Tim Buckley.

 Another one I didn’t expect to crack my top Twenty-Five, but this is a perfect example on how the folk scene was progressing. This comes off as a typical rock n roll album but Buckley is actually a folk artist. This is really more of a great folk-rock album and Gertie loves her folk rock.

Biggest Disappointment-  Los Bravos- Black is Black.

I was tempted to make this my stinker of the year but the title track saves this album from that dubious award. I wasn’t expecting to be enlightened by this album, but basically it was a lot of pap surrounding one classic single. Ugh!

Honorable Mention- The Lovin Spoonful- What’s Up Tiger Lily Soundtrack, The Blues Project- Live at the Café Au Go-Go, Paul Butterfield Blues Band- East-West, The Yardbirds- Roger the Engineer, John Mayall- Bluesbreakers With Eric Clapton

Stinker of the Year- Mrs. Miller- Mrs. Miller’s Greatest Hits

Hey, remember Leona Anderson? Well, Mrs. Miller made her look like Aretha Franklin. She became a bit of a sensation the way Susan Boyle would later (though Boyle could obviously sing). Of course, Capitol Records and the public knew she (Mrs. Miller) was terrible and she became something of a novelty. And yes she is. She’s off key and even more off rhythm. A must listen for lovers of bad music.

Wow, that was a fun ride. Will we turn on, tune in, drop out? Stay tuned to next week to find out in 1967. Same Bat Time, Same Bat Channel.

1965

The talking dog has transported me to the year 1965. There are secret agents all over the place. One guy even talks in his shoe. He’s probably a little nuts. I guess you would be nuts too if you were stranded on a desert island during a three hour tour. At least they have a professor who can make a radio out of the vast wardrobe they brought along.

The US Army is offering free trips to Asia for any young man who happens to get drafted. This is an exciting opportunity for would be football players. Oh, wait, the talking dog tells me that it’s a draft to fight some war because LBJ doesn’t like the way the Vietcong wear their shirts. Oh, well, at least they’re not rioting in some neighborhood like Watts. Hey, did you know it’s better to fight than switch? I didn’t either- good thing I don’t smoke. It isn’t proper for a girl of the 1890s you know.

Boys are starting to grow their hair and older people are mad Thomas Edison didn’t invent a hair mower. Don’t worry, Uncle Sam will give these nice young men haircuts. And nobody will get hurt- much. I think I’ll crash into the Moon or something.

James Bond is the hottest actor since James Dean. I think he should star in one of those beach party movies. Has anyone seen Frankie and Annette? I hope they weren’t kidnapped by Eric Von Zipper. And stop calling my mother a car or I’m sending Herman Munster after you!

Well, even though it’s the Eve of Destruction (or is it the Dawn of Correction? Boy these people can’t make up their minds), I have a special top twenty-five for all you nice people. Ready? Tough, I’m letting my fingers do the walking, mainly because my legs are tired.

Event of the year: The Beatles are given medals at a Mets game by Elvis.

Fad:  Wrecking Ford Mustangs

Babes of the Year: Ginger and Mary Ann

Scandal of the Year: Frankie and Annette shack up

Movie or TV show to barf to: My Mother the Car

What we could have done without: The Vietnam War

Pet of the year: Ilya Kuryakin

Other Tidbits: The night the lights went out in New York City, Malcolm X joins JFK in Australia, A cookout goes awry in Watts, LBJ declares blacks equal by sending them to Vietnam, an unmanned spaceship crashes into a telephone pole and starts the Apollo program, Bob Dylan electrocutes himself at Newport, Hugh Hefner invents the mini-skirt, Gomez Addams defeats Herman Munster for the Welterweight title, Frankie and Annette fall in love in Beach Blanket Bingo at Hamburger Hill, James Bond rejected by THRUSH, joins KAOS instead, isn’t society great?

The quality of the top twenty-five is getting better with each year and I really like this batch. So here we go…

1)  The Beatles- Rubber Soul

2)  Bob Dylan- Highway 61 Revisited

3)  Bob Dylan- Bringing It All Back Home

4)  Phil Ochs- I Ain’t Marchin Anymore

5)  John Coltrane- A Love Supreme

6)  The Rolling Stones- No. 2

7)  The Who- My Generation

8)  The Beatles- Help!

9)  Otis Redding- Otis Blue

10)  Them- The Angry Young Them

11)  The Byrds- Mr. Tambourine Man

12)  The Zombies- Begin Here

13)  The Kinks- Kontroversey

14)  The Beach Boys- Summer Days and Summer Nights

15)  The Pretty Things- Get the Picture

16)  Joan Baez- Farewell, Angelina

17)  The Kinks- Kinda Kinks

18)  Richard and Mimi Farina- Celebrations For a Grey Day

19)  The Pretty Things- The Pretty Things

20)  The Beau Brummels- Introducing the Beau Brummels

21)  The Yardbirds- Having a Rave Up With the Yardbirds

22)  Jackson C.Frank- Jackson C.Frank

23)  John Fahey- The Transfiguration of Blind Joe Death

24)  The Fugs- The Fugs Sing Ballds of Contemporary Protest, Points of View, and General Dissatisfaction

25)  The Sonics- Here Are the Sonics

Now things are getting going. The fact that my biggest surprise only comes in at number 24 should give you an idea of what I think of this year. For starters, Dylan’s Highway 61 is truly one of my favorite albums ever. In fact, all-time, it comes in at number four. Unfortunately for him, it was the same year that my number two all time album was released. So sue me, I’m a Beatles fan, okay?

Dylan also comes in at number three with his second best album. Yes, Dylan had one hell of a year, Phil Ochs scores big again and Coltrane keeps jazz alive with his brilliant A Love Supreme. There are all sorts of gems on this year’s chart, but I’ll especially point to the Who, the Zombies, the Pretty Things two entries, and the Sonics who just sneak into an amazing top twenty-five. Even in the Honorable Mentions you have the Moodies’ first entry. They were quite impressive with the Denny Laine fronted piano blues band.

Biggest Surprise-  The Fugs.

Of course I’ve heard snippets from these guys (notably, CIA man which they recorded a little later), but this album bounces between nutty acoustic goofballishness that would make Zappa proud and some straightforward folk rock. It proved to be an enjoyable listen. Also note that the album still came in at 24 which gives you an idea on how the quality of albums is improving.

Biggest Disappointment- The Rolling Stones- Out of Our Heads (US version)

 This was the first Stones album I ever bought and, outside of the hit singles, the album is pretty boring. If you took away Satisfaction, the Last Time (one of my favorite Stones songs btw), and Play With Fire, the album would even stink. Needless to say, the aforementioned three songs saved the album from complete disaster (it did make my honorable mentions).

Honorable Mention-  The Byrds- Turn, Turn, Turn, Donovan- Fairytale, The Moody Blues- The Magnificent Moodies, The Rolling Stones- Out of Our Heads, The Beach Boys- The Beach Boys Today.

Stinker of the Year-  The Addicts- The Addicts Sing

A friend of mine had this album (he liked to buy odd albums for the covers mostly). The story is these guys were taken from the streets and put together as a gospel choir. They’re not the worst singers, but come on; do you really want to advertise a band as a bunch of ‘former’ drug addicts? They sing acappella on You Are the Finger of God (so don’t pick God’s nose) and it sounds like fingernails on a chalkboard. Well, hopefully, they were cleaned up and remained that way.

Well, that’s it for 1965. See you later on  for 1966.

1964

The talking dog has transported me to 1964. A plane has landed at the airport they named for that kid who was President. They say he was given a boo-boo by a mean person named Lee, but most people think it was the Cubans or the Mafia. I think they were aliens myself. Did you see Mars Attacks? No, I didn’t either, because I haven’t gotten to 1996 yet, keep up people, will ya?

So these guys that all look like Moe of the Three Stooges come out of the plane. They now have a fourth stooge- he’s the drummer. The girls go wild and raid the plane. The plane is scared and runs away. I hope the plane doesn’t go to Vietnam; I hear that place is really scary.

I think I’ll watch some TV. Some voice tells me not to adjust my TV set. But how am I supposed to get rid of those rolling pictures? I mean it makes you look like you’re tripping on LSD or something, or maybe I just had too much bubble gum. I think my hair is drooping. I’ll use some hairspray. I hope it doesn’t eat the ozone layer because that would be bad. Ah, that’s better; now my hair is hard as concrete. And please don’t squeeze the Charmin or that store manager will kick your butt.

There’s this guy named Barry who wants to be President but he wants to nuke the world or something. Please, Barry, don’t hurt that little girl with the daisy.

Some abolitionist named Cassius Clay beats the liver out of some guy named Sonny. Then he changes his name, what nerve! If I tried to change my name, they’d tell me I’m anti-American or something. I guess I never will change my name to my preferred preference, Glenda, the Good Witch of the South. And don’t forget to use your zip; it’s now in the warning of those cigarette boxes. That and you might get cancer, they’re so cheerful.

Okay, so I guess it’s time to review my favorite albums of 1964 so here we go…

Event of the year: Elvis Presley does Ann Margaret

Fad:  Really bad Beatle wigs

Babe of the Year: Josephine the Plumber

Scandal of the Year: Barry Goldwater blows up the daisy girl. (according to LBJ anyway)

Movie or TV show to barf to: Gilligan’s Island

What we could have done without: The Beatles vs. the Four Seasons album

Pet of the year: Ann-Margaret

Other Tidbits: The Beatles invade America and Britain gets her colonies back, Goldfinger wants James Bond to die, Ringo Starr knocks out Muhammad Ali for the Heavyweight Boxing Title, Things go better with Coke, The Warren Commission concludes John Wilkes Booth acted alone in Lincoln assassination, The Battleship Maine is sunk in the Gulf of Tonkin Incident, the Rough Riders are sent to Vietnam, Liz marries Dick, Liz divorces Dick, Liz marries Dick again, Bob Dylan discovers pot, Martin Luther King wins the Academy Award, scientists discover that panthers are pink, fighting forbidden in the war room; Dr Strangelove can walk.

And with that, here is my top twenty-five for 1964…

1)  The Beatles- A Hard Day’s Night

2)  The Rolling Stones- The Rolling Stones

3)  Johnny Cash- Bitter Tears

4)  Bob Dylan- Another Side of Bob Dylan

5)  Phil Ochs- All the News That’s Fit To Sing

6)  The Beatles- Beatles For Sale

7)  Bob Dylan- The Times They Are a Changin

8)  Eric Dolphy- Out To Lunch

9)  Joan Baez- Joan Baez/5

10)  Judy Henske- High Flyin’ Bird

11)  The Holy Modal Rounders- The Holy Modal Rounders

12)  The Beach Boys- Shut Down Vol. 2

13)  Charles Mingus- Mingus, Mingus, Mingus

14)  The Kinks- Kinks

15)  The Ronettes- The Fabulous Ronettes Featuring Veronica.

16)  The Animals- The Animals

17)  The Yardbirds- Five Live Yardbirds

18)  Muddy Waters- Folk Singer

19)  Lesley Gore- Girl Talk

20)  Ian and Sylvia- Northern Journey

21)  Dave Van Ronk- Inside Dave Van Ronk

22)  Sam Cooke- Ain’t That Good News

23)  The Supremes- Where Did Our Love Go

24)  The Hollies- In the Hollies Style

25)  Manfred Mann- The Five Faces of Manfred Mann

The British Invasion is now full blown as the Beatles again hold the top spot. I actually would rate With the Beatles higher than A Hard Day’s Night had they been released in the same year as they were in the US, but no matter; it’s all semantics when you get right down to it. The Rolling Stones debut (UK version) comes in at number two. This is followed by Johnny Cash’s best album, Bitter Tears. Here he sings about the plight of the Native American. Cash is always best when he sings about the issues of the day, as he will later with Man in Black for example. Dylan scores two in the top ten again and Phil Ochs’ debut scores big with me too. In terms of pure folk, Phil Ochs tops my list though I would take Dylan’s electric period overall if it came down to brass tacks. Jazz is now fading from my top twenty five but Out To Lunch is everything it’s said to be; a jazz classic. Mingus also scores here for one last time. Out of the Top Ten, highlights include the wacky Holy Modal Rounders and a surprising effort by Lesley Gore who proves she isn’t just a singles’ artist to the chagrin of her handlers no doubt.

Biggest Surprise-  Judy Henske- High Flying Bird.

I think I’ve established that I’m a pretty big fan of sixties folk but even I was taken aback by the blues-folk songstress. The arrangements were ahead of its time as folk in 1964 was still basically a singer with his/her guitar. Henske, though, would use percussion and other instrumentation that was still to become common with future folk albums. Phil Ochs didn’t get into going beyond an acoustic guitar until 1967 for example. Anyway, this was a pleasant surprise.

Biggest Disappointment- Downliner’s Sect- The Sect.

 Now these guys are a great blues rock band in the vein of the Pretty Things, but this album, to me, is basically a bunch of covers. They’re not bad mind you; it’s just an album that I would have thought would fare better with me.

Honorable Mention-  Ian and Sylvia- Four Strong Winds, Simon and Garfunkel- Wednesday Morning, 3 AM, Tom Paxton- Ramblin’ Boy, The Everly Brothers- Gone, Gone, Gone, The Temptations- Meet the Temptations

Stinker of the Year-  The Chipmunks- The Chipmunks Sing the Beatles

And the girls went screaming- all the way to the mental institution. Boy those Chipmunks knew how to cash in on a music trend (wait till you hear Chipmunk Punk). They didn’t even grow their hair; that mean David Seville made them wear Beatle wigs. I think after this album, I’ll go listen to something more swinging, like Lawrence Welk.

And so ends a rather exciting year. Next up will be 1965. See you then.

1963

The talking dog has transported me to 1963 where everybody has gone surfing and Martin Luther King likes to sleep a lot because he’s always having a dream. I have a dream too. I have a dream where Tarzan takes me and we go swinging on a vine, then I fall into a vat of oatmeal, yeech!

There’s some Governor in Alabama who thinks black kids don’t belong in his colleges. That’s okay, George; you probably don’t belong in kindergarten either. Neither does your buddy, Bull, or is that Bully?  Congratulations, dummy, you single handedly made America sympathetic to the people you were hosing down. You might make MLK’s dream come true yet.

I really like the kid President. I find out so much about him this year. I find out he can’t speak German very well for example. He also gets a lot older around Thanksgiving though and the President suddenly isn't a kid anymore. That’s not good. I think I’m going to cry (sniff).

I’m transported to England where the girls are going berserk. They don’t do that in the US because they’re all trying to act like Lesley Gore or something. The English Girls are going bonkers though because somebody wants to hold their hand. If somebody tried to hold my hand, I’d slug him. Oh, well, the American girls are safe because British records never get played there. It’s just as well because everyone knows that guitar players are on the way out. That’s why nobody will care about these Beatles (they can’t even spell beetle right) a year from now, right, talking dog? Dammit, talking dog, I’m not Lassie!

Event of the year: JFK gets attacked by the Birds

Fad:  The game ‘Who Shot John Kennedy?’

Babe of the Year: Betty Friedan

Scandal of the Year: Bob Dylan walks out on Ed Sullivan over his really big shoes

Movie or TV show to barf to: Cleopatra

What we could have done without: George Wallace and Bull Connor

Pet of the year:  Christine Keeler

Other Tidbits: JFK speaks German in Berlin and inadvertently tells the audience to screw themselves, he later accepts a teaching post in Australia during a trip to Dallas, Martin Luther King has a nightmare, At John Lennon’s request, the Queen rattles her jewelry, people are eaten by man eating flowers called triffids, Russia and US establish the Cone of Silence, Wilbur Post sent to mental institution for talking to a horse, Pebbles and Bamm Bamm refused a marriage license, Allan Sherman gets lost at camp.

Okay a note here. UK and US releases were a bit different from each others as the US liked to stretch albums out over time. Therefore, two Beatle albums in the UK would become seven in the US. I tried to use the UK releases as much as possible but if a couple slip through the cracks, blame Kapp records or something.

Okay here we go…

1) The Beatles- With the Beatles

2) Bob Dylan- The Freewheelin’ Bob Dylan

3)  The Beatles- Please Please Me

4)  Charles Mingus- The Black Saint and the Sinner Lady

5)  James Brown- Live At the Apollo

6)  Dave Van Ronk- Folksinger

7)  Johnny Cash- Blood Sweat and Tears

8)  The Beach Boys- Surfer Girl

9)  Peter Paul and Mary- In the Wind

10)  Prince Buster- I Feel the Spirit

11)  The Impressions- The Impressions

12)  Sam Cooke- Night Beat

13)  Kenny Burrell- Midnight Blue

14)  Various Artists- A Christmas Gift To You From Phil Spector

15)  Thelonious Monk- Monk’s Dream

16)  The Beach Boys- Surfin USA

17)  The Searchers- Meet the Searchers

18)  The Atlantics- Bombora

19)  The Kingsmen- In Person

20)  Peter Paul and Mary- Moving

21)  Eric Dolphy- Conversations

22)  The Miracles- The Fabulous Miracles

23)  The Searchers- Sugar and Spice

24)  The Marvelettes- The Marvelous Marvelettes

25)  Lesley Gore- Sings of Mixed Up Hearts

This is the beginning of what I like to call the Beatle era. It’s also a good gage on how the quality of albums seem to improve, probably peaking around 1967-1968. As it is, 1963 is the best year to date as the Beatles take number one for the first of six consecutive years as well as the number three spot. In between, we have probably Bob Dylan’s best folk album. He’s full blown political now as he guides us through Masters of War and A Hard Rain’s Gonna Fall. Mingus comes up with another jazz classic and then there is James Browns’ classic Live at the Apollo. Dave Van Ronk releases his best effort this year and the Beach Boys come up with their first classic album in my book. They also score with Surfin’ USA. Other interesting albums include the Searchers’ two UK entries and the Atlantics. In the Honorable Mentions I have to say I was pleasantly surprised by the Kingston Trio’s #16. While I couldn’t put it in my top twenty-five. I was surprised that they could still keep playing some decent stuff as late as 1963, especially since by now folk had gone all political.

Biggest Surprise- Prince Buster- I Feel the Spirit.

 I almost went with Dave Van Ronk’s Folksinger but I expect good folk music. I didn’t know what to expect from a ska album. I absolutely love this album. And Madness did get their name from his signature song.

Biggest Disappointment- Dick Dale and His Deltones- King of the Surf Guitar.

 I love your instrumentals but do me a favor, Dick, don’t sing- you suck!

Honorable Mention-  Dionne Warwick- Presenting Dionne Warwick, The Kingston Trio- #16, Ike and Tina Turner- It’s Gonna Work Out Fine, James Brown- Prisoner of Love, Miles Davis- Seven Steps To Heaven

Stinker of the Year- Danke Schoen- Wayne Newton.

Before he became a smarmy entertainer in Vegas, Wayne Newton was a child star of twenty-one who, in those days, sounded like he had just been fired from the Chipmunks. If you saw Ferris Bueller Takes Off, you likely heard Danke Schoen. You may not have heard the Beatles Twist and Shout though because you probably were fighting to get out of the theatre. Yes, Virginia, this album truly sucks.

Well now we’re in the Beatle era and it only gets better from here. See you later with 1964.

1962

The talking dog has transported me to 1962 where everybody is doing this dance they call the Twist. Actually, they’re doing a lot of dances this year like the Mashed Potato, the Limbo, and the Duck and Cover, because Russia wants to build peppermint sticks in Cuba. The young kid President doesn’t like that and orders a blockade. I hope he doesn’t sink any battleships because that guy, Nikita, might launch his peppermint sticks at Florida. That wouldn’t be nice because the alligators would get radiation poisoning and grow into giant monsters and eat Miami. Then we’d have to launch our peppermint sticks at Moscow and then they’d be eaten by giant radioactive bears. Then Moscow would bomb New York and, well, Godzilla would have some new friends, wouldn’t he?

Somebody gave me some candy called M and M’s. He tells me they melt in your mouth and not in your hands. Oh, yeah? Then why do I have chocolate all over my face? Look, ma, no cavities- no teeth either, tee hee! I think I’m going to pack up the truck and go to Beverly. Don’t drink that Texas tea by the way. It tastes like black oil, yeech!

They had some guy they called the Manchurian Candidate. Dick lost the Governor’s race of California anyway. Oh, well, you won’t have Dick to kick around anymore, at least not until 1968 anyway.

I went to the doctors because the talking dog bit me by accident (bad talking dog). Well, Dr. Kildare told me I had rabies so I went to another doctor, Dr. Ben Casey, and he told me I had diaper rash. How do you get diaper rash on your arm? Anyway, they’re both a couple of quacks, so I went to a third doctor, Dr. Donald Duck. He said I was fine but watch out for a talking mouse.

But right now, we’re all bracing for World War Three because Castro won’t shave his beard off or something. Well, at least we won’t have time to make a Doomsday Bomb, unless you count Eegah!

Well, assuming we survived the apocalypse (everyone knows the world isn’t supposed to end until 1999, or is it 2012? Maybe it’s next week.), let’s see what Gertie likes in 1962.

Event of the year: Cuba goes day-glo.

Fad: Hiding in bomb shelters

Babe of the Year: Betty Rubble

Scandal of the Year: Marilyn Manson sings to JFK

Movie or TV show to barf to: Elvis Presley in Girls, Girls, Girls

What we could have done without: Middle aged people doing the Twist

Pet of the year: Dino (no, not Dean Martin)

Other Tidbits: US and Soviets on brink of war over Cuba, Khrushchev gets something in his eye,  John Glenn orbits the Earth and gets dizzy, Beatles signed by VeeJay records; Decca signs Mitch Miller, Andy Warhol paints a can of soup, Humbert Humbert exposed as a pervert and changes his name to Roman Polanski, Frank Sinatra fails to prevent the Assassination of Senator James Gregory, Elvis Presley wins his fifth Academy Award, To Serve Man is exposed as a cookbook, A moose is eaten when he pulls a rabid squirrel out of his hat (again?), Yabba Dabba Do.

Jazz is hanging in for another year as folk and rock becomes more influential. Let’s say we give the top Twenty-Five a spin…

1)  Joan Baez- Joan Baez in Concert

2)  Peter Paul and Mary- Peter Paul and Mary

3)  John Coltrane- Coltrane

4)  Bob Dylan- Bob Dylan

5)  Sun Ra- The Futuristic Sounds of Sun Ra

6)  John Coltrane- John Coltrane Plays the Blues

7)  John Lee Hooker- Burnin’

8)  Charles Mingus- Oh Yeah!

9)  Herbie Hancock- Takin Off

10)  Howlin Wolf- Howlin Wolf

11)  Marvin Gaye- That Stubborn Kind of Fellow

12)  Ravi Shankar- Improvisations

13)  Ian and Sylvia- Ian and Sylvia

14)  Carolyn Hester- Carolyn Hester

15)  Booker T and the Mgs- Green Onions

16)  Art Blakey and the Jazz Messengers- Moasic

17)  Sam Cooke- Twistin the Night Away

18)  The Supremes- Meet the Supremes

19)  Gene Pitney- The Many Sides of Gene Pitney

20)  The Marvelettes- Playboy

21)  Ray Charles- Modern Sounds in Country and Western Music

22)  James Brown- Good Good Twistin

23)  Charles Mingus- Tijuana Moods

24)  The Miracles- I’ll Try Something New

25)  The Shadows- Out of the Shadows

This is the year of folk to be sure. I’m generally not big on live albums but there are exceptions. Joan Baez in Concert is one of them. If you think I’m off my rocker, listen to her rendition of What Have They Done To the Rain and then tell me I’m nuts. Then again, knowing some of you guys…

Peter Paul and Mary comes in at number two. I guess for most people a little bit of them can go a long way, but their first three albums and especially their debut very much impress me. Again listen to 500 Miles and… Coltrane comes up with another gem and Bob Dylan makes his solid debut. Number Five is my big surprise while other solid entries include Herbie Hancock, Marvin Gaye’s debut, Booker T’s Green Onions and my other big surprise, Meet the Supremes- go figure. The Beach Boys also recorded their first album this year, but they have to settle for honorable mention. I like the Beach Boys but their debut really isn’t all that good.

Biggest Surprise- Sun Ra- The Futuristic Sounds of Sun Ra

 The king of experimental jazz is no better than on this gem. I didn’t know what to expect having only really heard Rocket Number Nine, but, yeah, wow. Love this album.

Biggest Disappointment- Ray Charles- Modern Sounds in Country and Western Music.

 No, I didn’t really expect it to be among my absolute favorite albums, but when you consider this is considered to be the best album of 1962 by many critics, this doesn’t even come close for me. I guess I’m a bigger fan of his Atlantic output when it comes right down to it. Here, he’s trying to be Frank Sinatra or whoever.

Honorable Mention-  The Beach Boys- Surfin Surfari, Bo Diddley- Bo Diddley, Ornette Coleman Quartet- Ornette, The Shirelles- Baby It’s You, Lightnin Hopkins- Lightnin Strikes

Stinker of the Year-  Ann Corio and Sonny Lester- How To Strip For Your Husband

This was the year of David Rose and the Stripper. It was also the time when women were nervous that their husbands wouldn’t like their coffee. So, naturally this album was meant for a helpful guideline for women to, um, serve their husbands. Look for classics like Seduction of the Virgin Princess and Lonely Little G-String.

Well, we’ve survived the Cubans and the Twist. Stay tuned next week as we cover 1963.

1961

 Here I am transported to 1961. I’m in a New Frontier where pigs are invaded in some bay or something. I don’t even know which side the pigs are on. Oh, well, at least I’m not the walrus. Some young kid is running the country and is saying things like, “Ask not what your country can do for you,” which, translated into English, means No Social Security for you, Pal.

There are also a lot of color TV’s being bought these days. That’s such a waste; I mean all the shows are in black and white. Why would you need a color TV? Oh, I see; it’s for the commercials. But they’re in black and white too. Okay, I’ll shut up and eat my Oscar Meyer weiner. Do you wish you were an Oscar Meyer weiner? Me neither.

Ike is talking about some military industrial complex. I hope they make cookies. Some guy with an asterix keeps hitting home runs. I hope he isn’t cheating and drinking Maypo or something. By the way, is Mickey Mantle related to Reggie Mantle of the Archie Comics? Or, maybe he’s related to Mickey Rooney. Has anyone see Toto. No, talking dog, Toto isn’t a toy!

There’s a man in space but he has to come back to Earth. I hope he doesn’t land on that pretty wall in Berlin. The Russians worked so hard to build that; they must be tired. At least they can be more successful keeping people that don’t like them in. Hey, has anyone seen that nice clown out of Chicago (no, not Mayor Daley)? He’s such a bozo.

Well, the talking dog is making me listen to a lot of folk this year because he got electric shock when he played the electric guitar. Well, what do you expect when you’re playing in the bathtub? Geez!

Well, anyway, here we go with the best of 1961.

Event of the year: Pigs invade Cuba and are repulsed by Castro forces and sharks

Fad: Getting lost in space

Babe of the Year: Speedy the Alka Seltzer kid

Scandal of the Year: Some little kid in Ohio is wishing people into the cornfield.

Movie or TV show to barf to: Sing Along With Mitch

What we could have done without: Colored Only water fountains

Pet of the year: Laika the Russian space dog

Other Tidbits: East Germany builds the Great Wall of China, Kennedy promises to put LBJ on the Moon by 1970, Natalie Wood declares she’s so pretty, Kennedy forms the Peace Corps and supports war in Vietnam, Pampers invented for incontinent adults, people ride to the south for free, Roger Maris cleared of steroid accusations, Khrushchev joins the circus. The Sharks beat the Jets in the first Super Bowl, Mothra destroys Tokyo and turns into a giant caterpillar, Fred Flintstone becomes sheriff of Mayberry, Mr. Wilson arrested for spanking Dennis the Menace, Jackie Kennedy joins the French Foreign Legion; pill box hats replace the kepi, experts agree: Bullwinkle is not a squirrel.

So this is the year folk becomes a major factor in my charts. Are we ready? Tough, I’m doing it anyway…

1)  John Coltrane- Olé Coltrane

2)  Robert Johnson- King of the Delta Blues Singers

3)  Joan Baez- Joan Baez 2

4)  John Coltrane- My Favorite Things

5)  Blind Gary Davis- Harlem Street Singer

6)  The Miracles- Hi, We’re The Miracles

7)  James Brown- The Amazing James Brown

8)  Bobby ‘Blue’ Bland- Two Steps From the Blues

9)  The Journeymen- The Journeymen

10)  Roy Orbison- Roy Orbison at the Rock House

11)  Dave Van Ronk- Dave Van Ronk Sings

12)  Hank Mobley- Roll Call

13)  Mal Waldron- The Quest

14)  Dave Brubeck- Time Further Out

15)  The Shadows- The Shadows

16)  Oliver Nelson- The Blues and the Abstract Truth

17)  Ornette Coleman- Free Jazz

18)  Ray Charles and Milt Jackson- Soul Meeting

19)  Cecil Taylor- The World of Cecil Taylor

20)  Charles Mingus- Charles Mingus Presents Charles Mingus

21)  Judy Collins- A Maid of Constant Sorrow

22)  Kenny Drew- Undercurrent

23)  Ike and Tina Turner- The Soul of Ike and Tina Turner

24)  Max Roach- Percussion Bitter Sweet

25)  Bo Diddley- Bo Diddley is a Lover

John Coltrane owns this year. My Favorite Things is probably one of his most acclaimed albums and it is quite good, but for me, Olé Coltrane blows that one out of the water. It’s his best since Blue Train. I put Robert Johnson at number two even though he technically recorded his songs in 1936-37, but they released his collection this year. So I cheated a little so I could include him somewhere in my project, plus he was pretty damned good. I really start to become a fan of Joan Baez this year. She had such an angelic voice in the early sixties in particular. Blind Gary Davis was my other surprise. It’s basically a blues gospel album and quite soulful in its own way. It’s certainly has to be one of the most underrated blues albums out there.

James Brown comes up with one of his energetic pieces with his usual mix of hits and tunes to get jumpy with. I cheated a little with Roy Orbison too. He’s actually one of the greatest singles artists ever but his sixties albums are generally mediocre as a rule. Rock House is a collection of songs from his Sun days. It’s about as good as anything Elvis or Cash did to be honest. Other entries to note include Dave Van Ronk (again), Dave Brubeck, and Judy Collins who won’t remind anyone of Joan Baez but isn’t half bad in the early sixties folk scene.

This is the first year where I start to include honorable mentions. Eventually, they will essentially be my 26^th to 30^th albums in no particular order, but for now, they’re just the albums I thought deserved some mention.

Biggest Surprise- The Miracles- Hi We’re the Miracles.

I wasn’t expecting to like Motown albums in general, but some of the early Motown albums really rock it. This one by the Miracles may be the best of the bunch before What’s Going On though I guess time will tell.

Biggest Disappointment- Elvis Presley- Something For Everybody.

 I know, I shouldn’t expect much out of Elvis’ albums in general but 1961 was a banner year for him with hits like Little Sister and (Marie’s the Name) His Latest Flame. Unfortunately, neither song is on the album.

Honorable Mention-  The Ventures- Another Smash, Elvis Presley- Something For Everybody

Stinker of the Year-  Ronald Reagan- Ronald Reagan Speaks Out Against Socialized Medicine.

This, from  a man who once co-starred with a monkey. He later would famously slap Angie Dickinson silly and win the Governorship of California. Anyhow he felt the right for doctors to move to Antarctica was more important that somebody’s trivial heart operation. If you think he’s in a lather here, imagine his horror when Medicare becomes the law of the land.

Well, that does it for 1961. Stay tuned later as we get into 1962.

1960

Don’t beat me with that shoe, Nikki!

The talking dog has transported me to 1960. I’m traveling through another dimension. Either that, or some perv is looking at me through the shower. Oh great; he’s wearing some old lady’s wig and holding a knife. Sure, perv, I’ll have a bit of pot roast- he’s quite friendly, you know. Speaking of friendly, there is this ghost called Casper. He sure is scary looking.

Dick runs for President this year because Ike isn’t allowed to run and he doesn’t have any hair anyway. Dick loses to Jack because he’s married to Jane and Dick isn’t. See Dick pout.  Radio disk jockeys are in trouble for taking money. In fact, everyone’s in trouble except the politicians for taking money. That does it; I’m running for Senator.

Elvis is back and he and Sinatra are a duo. It will end when Elvis dates his daughter. Oh, well, that’s life.

They have this movie out called the Magnificent Seven. It’s about these Japanese warriors who try to protect- wait, that’s the wrong movie. This is the one that stars the King of Siam or something. The Three Stooges are back together. Woo-woo-woo-woo-woo.

And Lucy split up with Desi cause she loves Charlie Brown or something. Hey, talking dog, stop growling at Snoopy- he doesn’t have your bone. Geez, the talking dog is so possessive.

Well, I guess I better go. France wants to try out its new nuclear bomb on Moscow- what could possibly happen?

Event of the year: Francis Gary Powers lands a plane in Red Square and stops the nuclear arms race.

Fad: Busting deejays in Payola Scandal

Babe of the Year: Curly Joe of the Three Stooges

Scandal of the Year: A woman arrested for wearing an Itsy Bitsy Teeny Weeny Yellow Polka Dot Bikini

Movie or TV show to barf to: Lawrence Welk

What we could have done without: Dick Clark playing a kiss up in Payola scandal

Pet of the year: Norman Bates

Other Tidbits: Nixon grows a beard and gets trounced in the debates, The CIA tries to set Castro’s beard on fire, France gets the bomb and invades Britain, Woolworth stages a sit-in for more pecan pie, the crime rate triples in Mayberry, North Carolina, Frank Nitti kidnaps Elliot Ness, Chubby Checker invents hip casts, John Kennedy wins West Virginia primary by convincing voters he’s Jewish, Woman killed in a shower for embezzlement, John Wayne single handedly fights off 5000 Mexicans at the Alamo, Elvis Presley makes a comeback and becomes Frank Sinatra.

And here we go with more jazz plus a little bit of folk and rock n roll…

1)  Charles Mingus- Blues and Roots

2)  Miles Davis- Sketches of Spain

3)  John Lee Hooker- Travelin’

4)  Eric Dolphy- Out There

5)  John Coltrane- Giant Steps

6)  Johnny Cash- Ride This Train

7)  Joan Baez- Joan Baez

8)  Charles Mingus- Mingus Dynasty

9)  The Everly Brothers- A Date With the Everly Brothers

10)  Art Blakey and the Jazz Messengers- The Big Beat

11)  Muddy Waters- At Newport 1960

12)  Thelonious Monk- Thelonious Alone in San Francisco

13)  James Brown- Think

14)  The Everly Brothers- It’s Everly Time

15)  Link Wray- Link Wray and His Wraymen

16)  Tina Brooks- True Blue

17)  Bo Diddley- Bo Diddley is a Gunslinger

18)  Ornette Coleman- Change of the Century

19)  Bill Evans Trio- Portrait In Jazz

20)  Hank Mobley- Soul Station

21)  Sonny Clark Trio- Sonny Clark Trio

22)  Wanda Jackson- Rockin’ With Wanda

23)  The Ventures- Walk, Don’t Run

24)  Curtis Fuller Quintet- Blues-Ette

25)  The Kingston Trio- String Along

Another year of great surprises. I’ll cover the number two album in the Biggest Surprise. It still gets edged out by what is the first of truly great albums by Charles Mingus. It’s one of those albums where you just relax and let the music flow. His Mingus Dynasty (at number eight) is no slouch either. John Lee Hooker comes in at number three (Did I say last year’s album was his best? Scratch that). It’s a piece of the electric blues you would expect from the legend.

Coltrane’s Giant Steps signals his return to the top twenty-five and he’ll be coming back with a vengeance. The other big surprise for me was Johnny Cash’s Ride This Train. This may be the first real concept album in the rock n roll sense as he narrates into each song as if he’s reviewing his life. It’s a piece of brilliance and is now one of my favorite Cash albums. The Everly Brothers also impress me this year. A Date With the Every Brothers was an album my Mom had when I was a kid. I liked it then and I like it now. Thelonious Monk scores with his first album I actually like. In fact really most of the albums are solid except for maybe the bottom five. Needless to say, this is my favorite chart yet.

Biggest Surprise- Miles Davis- Sketches of Spain.

 Until Kind of Blue, I wasn’t really that keen on Miles and even that album didn’t really live up to expectations for me. Sketches of Spain was very original as Davis uses flamenco music to his advantage. It’s my favorite Miles to date.

Biggest Disappointment- The Incredible Jazz Guitar of Wes Montgomery.

 I didn’t find anything incredible about it at all. It doesn’t even make Honorable Mention. Maybe when I want to hear jazz, I’d rather hear horns and sax and even piano. Guitar is for rock n roll, man.

Honorable Mention- Donald Byrd- Byrd in Hand, Jimmy Reed- Found Love

Stinker of the Year-  Annette (Disney’s Darling before those Beach Party pictures)- Hawaiianette

Annette sings songs of Hawaii, excited yet? It takes five seconds of the title track to want to make you stick dynamite in your ears. Other great gems to poke your eyes out to include Hukilai, Blue Muu Muu, and Lua Cha Cha Cha. If I hear them chant Lua Cha Cha Cha one more time…

Okay, I’m going to end this so I can get away from Annette. God help us when she does those Beach Party movies. Meanwhile make sure you catch my top twenty-five for 1961 later. See you then.