1960

Don’t beat me with that shoe, Nikki!

The talking dog has transported me to 1960. I’m traveling through another dimension. Either that, or some perv is looking at me through the shower. Oh great; he’s wearing some old lady’s wig and holding a knife. Sure, perv, I’ll have a bit of pot roast- he’s quite friendly, you know. Speaking of friendly, there is this ghost called Casper. He sure is scary looking.

Dick runs for President this year because Ike isn’t allowed to run and he doesn’t have any hair anyway. Dick loses to Jack because he’s married to Jane and Dick isn’t. See Dick pout.  Radio disk jockeys are in trouble for taking money. In fact, everyone’s in trouble except the politicians for taking money. That does it; I’m running for Senator.

Elvis is back and he and Sinatra are a duo. It will end when Elvis dates his daughter. Oh, well, that’s life.

They have this movie out called the Magnificent Seven. It’s about these Japanese warriors who try to protect- wait, that’s the wrong movie. This is the one that stars the King of Siam or something. The Three Stooges are back together. Woo-woo-woo-woo-woo.

And Lucy split up with Desi cause she loves Charlie Brown or something. Hey, talking dog, stop growling at Snoopy- he doesn’t have your bone. Geez, the talking dog is so possessive.

Well, I guess I better go. France wants to try out its new nuclear bomb on Moscow- what could possibly happen?

Event of the year: Francis Gary Powers lands a plane in Red Square and stops the nuclear arms race.

Fad: Busting deejays in Payola Scandal

Babe of the Year: Curly Joe of the Three Stooges

Scandal of the Year: A woman arrested for wearing an Itsy Bitsy Teeny Weeny Yellow Polka Dot Bikini

Movie or TV show to barf to: Lawrence Welk

What we could have done without: Dick Clark playing a kiss up in Payola scandal

Pet of the year: Norman Bates

Other Tidbits: Nixon grows a beard and gets trounced in the debates, The CIA tries to set Castro’s beard on fire, France gets the bomb and invades Britain, Woolworth stages a sit-in for more pecan pie, the crime rate triples in Mayberry, North Carolina, Frank Nitti kidnaps Elliot Ness, Chubby Checker invents hip casts, John Kennedy wins West Virginia primary by convincing voters he’s Jewish, Woman killed in a shower for embezzlement, John Wayne single handedly fights off 5000 Mexicans at the Alamo, Elvis Presley makes a comeback and becomes Frank Sinatra.

And here we go with more jazz plus a little bit of folk and rock n roll…

1)  Charles Mingus- Blues and Roots

2)  Miles Davis- Sketches of Spain

3)  John Lee Hooker- Travelin’

4)  Eric Dolphy- Out There

5)  John Coltrane- Giant Steps

6)  Johnny Cash- Ride This Train

7)  Joan Baez- Joan Baez

8)  Charles Mingus- Mingus Dynasty

9)  The Everly Brothers- A Date With the Everly Brothers

10)  Art Blakey and the Jazz Messengers- The Big Beat

11)  Muddy Waters- At Newport 1960

12)  Thelonious Monk- Thelonious Alone in San Francisco

13)  James Brown- Think

14)  The Everly Brothers- It’s Everly Time

15)  Link Wray- Link Wray and His Wraymen

16)  Tina Brooks- True Blue

17)  Bo Diddley- Bo Diddley is a Gunslinger

18)  Ornette Coleman- Change of the Century

19)  Bill Evans Trio- Portrait In Jazz

20)  Hank Mobley- Soul Station

21)  Sonny Clark Trio- Sonny Clark Trio

22)  Wanda Jackson- Rockin’ With Wanda

23)  The Ventures- Walk, Don’t Run

24)  Curtis Fuller Quintet- Blues-Ette

25)  The Kingston Trio- String Along

Another year of great surprises. I’ll cover the number two album in the Biggest Surprise. It still gets edged out by what is the first of truly great albums by Charles Mingus. It’s one of those albums where you just relax and let the music flow. His Mingus Dynasty (at number eight) is no slouch either. John Lee Hooker comes in at number three (Did I say last year’s album was his best? Scratch that). It’s a piece of the electric blues you would expect from the legend.

Coltrane’s Giant Steps signals his return to the top twenty-five and he’ll be coming back with a vengeance. The other big surprise for me was Johnny Cash’s Ride This Train. This may be the first real concept album in the rock n roll sense as he narrates into each song as if he’s reviewing his life. It’s a piece of brilliance and is now one of my favorite Cash albums. The Everly Brothers also impress me this year. A Date With the Every Brothers was an album my Mom had when I was a kid. I liked it then and I like it now. Thelonious Monk scores with his first album I actually like. In fact really most of the albums are solid except for maybe the bottom five. Needless to say, this is my favorite chart yet.

Biggest Surprise- Miles Davis- Sketches of Spain.

 Until Kind of Blue, I wasn’t really that keen on Miles and even that album didn’t really live up to expectations for me. Sketches of Spain was very original as Davis uses flamenco music to his advantage. It’s my favorite Miles to date.

Biggest Disappointment- The Incredible Jazz Guitar of Wes Montgomery.

 I didn’t find anything incredible about it at all. It doesn’t even make Honorable Mention. Maybe when I want to hear jazz, I’d rather hear horns and sax and even piano. Guitar is for rock n roll, man.

Honorable Mention- Donald Byrd- Byrd in Hand, Jimmy Reed- Found Love

Stinker of the Year-  Annette (Disney’s Darling before those Beach Party pictures)- Hawaiianette

Annette sings songs of Hawaii, excited yet? It takes five seconds of the title track to want to make you stick dynamite in your ears. Other great gems to poke your eyes out to include Hukilai, Blue Muu Muu, and Lua Cha Cha Cha. If I hear them chant Lua Cha Cha Cha one more time…

Okay, I’m going to end this so I can get away from Annette. God help us when she does those Beach Party movies. Meanwhile make sure you catch my top twenty-five for 1961 later. See you then.