1962

The talking dog has transported me to 1962 where everybody is doing this dance they call the Twist. Actually, they’re doing a lot of dances this year like the Mashed Potato, the Limbo, and the Duck and Cover, because Russia wants to build peppermint sticks in Cuba. The young kid President doesn’t like that and orders a blockade. I hope he doesn’t sink any battleships because that guy, Nikita, might launch his peppermint sticks at Florida. That wouldn’t be nice because the alligators would get radiation poisoning and grow into giant monsters and eat Miami. Then we’d have to launch our peppermint sticks at Moscow and then they’d be eaten by giant radioactive bears. Then Moscow would bomb New York and, well, Godzilla would have some new friends, wouldn’t he?

Somebody gave me some candy called M and M’s. He tells me they melt in your mouth and not in your hands. Oh, yeah? Then why do I have chocolate all over my face? Look, ma, no cavities- no teeth either, tee hee! I think I’m going to pack up the truck and go to Beverly. Don’t drink that Texas tea by the way. It tastes like black oil, yeech!

They had some guy they called the Manchurian Candidate. Dick lost the Governor’s race of California anyway. Oh, well, you won’t have Dick to kick around anymore, at least not until 1968 anyway.

I went to the doctors because the talking dog bit me by accident (bad talking dog). Well, Dr. Kildare told me I had rabies so I went to another doctor, Dr. Ben Casey, and he told me I had diaper rash. How do you get diaper rash on your arm? Anyway, they’re both a couple of quacks, so I went to a third doctor, Dr. Donald Duck. He said I was fine but watch out for a talking mouse.

But right now, we’re all bracing for World War Three because Castro won’t shave his beard off or something. Well, at least we won’t have time to make a Doomsday Bomb, unless you count Eegah!

Well, assuming we survived the apocalypse (everyone knows the world isn’t supposed to end until 1999, or is it 2012? Maybe it’s next week.), let’s see what Gertie likes in 1962.

Event of the year: Cuba goes day-glo.

Fad: Hiding in bomb shelters

Babe of the Year: Betty Rubble

Scandal of the Year: Marilyn Manson sings to JFK

Movie or TV show to barf to: Elvis Presley in Girls, Girls, Girls

What we could have done without: Middle aged people doing the Twist

Pet of the year: Dino (no, not Dean Martin)

Other Tidbits: US and Soviets on brink of war over Cuba, Khrushchev gets something in his eye,  John Glenn orbits the Earth and gets dizzy, Beatles signed by VeeJay records; Decca signs Mitch Miller, Andy Warhol paints a can of soup, Humbert Humbert exposed as a pervert and changes his name to Roman Polanski, Frank Sinatra fails to prevent the Assassination of Senator James Gregory, Elvis Presley wins his fifth Academy Award, To Serve Man is exposed as a cookbook, A moose is eaten when he pulls a rabid squirrel out of his hat (again?), Yabba Dabba Do.

Jazz is hanging in for another year as folk and rock becomes more influential. Let’s say we give the top Twenty-Five a spin…

1)  Joan Baez- Joan Baez in Concert

2)  Peter Paul and Mary- Peter Paul and Mary

3)  John Coltrane- Coltrane

4)  Bob Dylan- Bob Dylan

5)  Sun Ra- The Futuristic Sounds of Sun Ra

6)  John Coltrane- John Coltrane Plays the Blues

7)  John Lee Hooker- Burnin’

8)  Charles Mingus- Oh Yeah!

9)  Herbie Hancock- Takin Off

10)  Howlin Wolf- Howlin Wolf

11)  Marvin Gaye- That Stubborn Kind of Fellow

12)  Ravi Shankar- Improvisations

13)  Ian and Sylvia- Ian and Sylvia

14)  Carolyn Hester- Carolyn Hester

15)  Booker T and the Mgs- Green Onions

16)  Art Blakey and the Jazz Messengers- Moasic

17)  Sam Cooke- Twistin the Night Away

18)  The Supremes- Meet the Supremes

19)  Gene Pitney- The Many Sides of Gene Pitney

20)  The Marvelettes- Playboy

21)  Ray Charles- Modern Sounds in Country and Western Music

22)  James Brown- Good Good Twistin

23)  Charles Mingus- Tijuana Moods

24)  The Miracles- I’ll Try Something New

25)  The Shadows- Out of the Shadows

This is the year of folk to be sure. I’m generally not big on live albums but there are exceptions. Joan Baez in Concert is one of them. If you think I’m off my rocker, listen to her rendition of What Have They Done To the Rain and then tell me I’m nuts. Then again, knowing some of you guys…

Peter Paul and Mary comes in at number two. I guess for most people a little bit of them can go a long way, but their first three albums and especially their debut very much impress me. Again listen to 500 Miles and… Coltrane comes up with another gem and Bob Dylan makes his solid debut. Number Five is my big surprise while other solid entries include Herbie Hancock, Marvin Gaye’s debut, Booker T’s Green Onions and my other big surprise, Meet the Supremes- go figure. The Beach Boys also recorded their first album this year, but they have to settle for honorable mention. I like the Beach Boys but their debut really isn’t all that good.

Biggest Surprise- Sun Ra- The Futuristic Sounds of Sun Ra

 The king of experimental jazz is no better than on this gem. I didn’t know what to expect having only really heard Rocket Number Nine, but, yeah, wow. Love this album.

Biggest Disappointment- Ray Charles- Modern Sounds in Country and Western Music.

 No, I didn’t really expect it to be among my absolute favorite albums, but when you consider this is considered to be the best album of 1962 by many critics, this doesn’t even come close for me. I guess I’m a bigger fan of his Atlantic output when it comes right down to it. Here, he’s trying to be Frank Sinatra or whoever.

Honorable Mention-  The Beach Boys- Surfin Surfari, Bo Diddley- Bo Diddley, Ornette Coleman Quartet- Ornette, The Shirelles- Baby It’s You, Lightnin Hopkins- Lightnin Strikes

Stinker of the Year-  Ann Corio and Sonny Lester- How To Strip For Your Husband

This was the year of David Rose and the Stripper. It was also the time when women were nervous that their husbands wouldn’t like their coffee. So, naturally this album was meant for a helpful guideline for women to, um, serve their husbands. Look for classics like Seduction of the Virgin Princess and Lonely Little G-String.

Well, we’ve survived the Cubans and the Twist. Stay tuned next week as we cover 1963.