1976

The talking dog has transported me to the year 1976 right in the middle of some flotilla off New York Harbor. What is this bicentennial anyway? It just looks like a bunch of fireworks to me. Wait, they’re coming at me- OUCH! Jeepers, fireworks hurt!

So here we are in the bicentennial. The Six Million Dollar Man is the hottest thing on TV. Too bad he’s only worth a buck ninety-five (sorry, that was too easy). Actually, the hottest thing on TV is the Fonz who is basically this middle aged man pretending to be James Dean. The teenyboppers love him. Maybe he’ll record an album or something. Okay, maybe he won’t. They’re all listening to something called CB radio. Breaker, breaker, one nine. What exactly is a breaker anyway? I know trains have brakers back home. They have engineers too, aren’t the 1890s great?

Everybody is wearing some wedge hairdo Dorothy Hamill invented, even the guys. And Caitlin, I mean, Bruce Jenner wins the decathlon at the Montreal Olympics. Aren’t Wheaties great? And Rocky Balboa was robbed. He should have beaten Ali (or was that Apollo Creed?- I get all these boxers confused).

Well, I guess I better do my favorite albums of 1976 before I get Swine Flu. Make sure you get your vaccine; there aren’t many risks this year, trust me :D

Event of the year: Raid on Entebbe; Idi Amin becomes a pop star.

Fad: Peanut farming

Babe of the Year: Horshack

Scandal of the Year: Laverne and Shirley don’t like each other

Movie or TV show to barf to: Little House on the Prarie

What we could have done without: Silly Love Songs

Pet of the year: Fonzie

Other Tidbits: Howard Beale is mad as Hell and he’s not going to take it anymore, Brezhnev announces there is no American domination of Western Europe, Jimmy Carter lusts after women and gets elected anyway, America celebrates the 200^th anniversary of the cotton gin, Johnny Rotten talks dirty, Rocky Balboa defeats Muhammad Ali for the Heavyweight Title, Francisco Franco still dead, The Beatles reunite on Saturday Night Live and don’t pay Ringo, The Rolling Stones go disco and cause a riot at Altamont, Nadia Comaneci is too young for you, perv, Viking lands on Mars; dies of radiation poisoning, Are you looking at me? No, I’m not a disco duck.

I don’t know, but I’m starting to see some punk rock here in what is otherwise a pretty dismal year. Anyway, here we go…

(shake some action)

1) Flamin’ Groovies- Shake Some Action

2)  Patti Smith- Radio Ethiopia

3)  The Ramones- Ramones

4)  Stevie Wonder- Songs in the Key of Life

5)  Bob Dylan- Desire

6)  Tom Waits- Small Change

7)  Elvis Presley- The Sun Sessions

8)  Queen- A Day at the Races

9)  The Runaways- The Runaways

10)  The Residents- Third Reich and Roll

11)  Phil Ochs- Chords of Fame

12)  Klaatu- 3:47 EST

13)  10cc- How Dare You

14)  Dwight Twilley Band- Sincerely

15)  Aerosmith- Rocks

16)  Penguin Café Orchestra- Music From the Penguin Cafe

17)  Parliament- The Clones of Dr Funkenstein

18)  Marvin Gaye- I Want You

19)  Eddie and the Hot Rods- Teenage Depression

20)  Graham Parker and the Rumour- Heat Treatment

21)  Electric Light Orchestra- A New World Record

22)  Frank Zappa- Zoot Allures

23)  Sparks- Big Beat

24)  Steely Dan- The Royal Scam

25)  David Bowie- Station To Station

Few years rate as bizarre as this one. I had to choose from the early punk that I really love to some AOR rock that I guess I can tolerate. It’s bad when you’re considering placing an album that features Silly Love Songs on it. Anyway, there are some gems starting with number one. Shake Some Action, to me, is better than the Flamin’ Groovies’ acclaimed Teenage Head. It’s very retro British Invasion and, to me, it sounds quite authentic. Patti Smith goes full blown punk with her second effort and she gets the silver. Then it’s followed by the Ramones, Stevie Wonder, and Bob Dylan’s last great album, at least for a while. I also think Tom Waits’ collection of drunken ballads so to speak is quite impressive . I threw two retrospective albums in here as well (something I don’t normally do) but Elvis’ Sun Sessions do deserve to be on here somewhere and Phil Ochs tragically died this year. Klattu is an interesting entry as there was a rumor they were actually the reunited Beatles. The album stands out well on its own as it turns out. The Penguin Café gets in by way of the album club of a forum I technically belong to, I probably would not thought of this album otherwise. In the Honorable Mentions, check out Raw Power by Strange. It’s Terry Brooks’ second effort and it’s quite a spacey piece of psychedelia even if it does sound a little amateurish. It’s early DIY to be sure.

Biggest Surprise- The Residents- Third Reich and Roll.

Let’s face it; either these guys are either at the top of your list, or one of your stinkers. There really is no in between. For me, I guess it’s the former. On this album they are skewering the oldies essentially. No doubt Dick Clark was very impressed with the drawing of him wearing a swastika armband. Yes, it’s very avant-garde, but a pleasant diversion in what was the teenage wasteland that was 1976.

Biggest Disappointment-  Led Zeppelin- Presence.

I guess it had to be expected. Led Zeppelin had been making quality albums since 1969 so I guess they were due for a bomb. It seems uninspired more than anything else. I guess I could have put in Wings At the Speed of Sound, but the truth is, if you take away the insipid Silly Love Songs, it isn’t really that bad of an album.

So, disappointment it is for Led Zeppelin. I’ll listen to Physical Graffiti instead :D.

Honorable Mention- Heart- Dreamboat Annie, Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers- Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers, Crack the Sky- Animal Notes, Strange- Raw Power, Manfred Mann’s Earth Band- The Roaring Silence.

Stinker of the Year-  Mr. Big- Photographic Smile.

This is one I actually remember. They shouldn’t be confused with the early nineties hard rock band that was about as equally bad. I think this was a UK band who basically was trying to mix arena rock with , um, Chinese music. The first tracks almost even sound a little offensive, though I doubt that was their intent. Whatever the case, perhaps they should try something a little less risky, like playing their instruments while bungee jumping.

And thus the bicentennial ends. Stay tuned for next week as things get a little punky and I’m not talking about Punky Brewster.