1988

I’m now in the year 1988 where I’m visiting Nancy’s astrologer. Yes, I’m a Sagittarius, what’s it to you? What do you mean there is a dark handsome figure in my life? He’s just a dog. Oh that dark handsome figure, is it Tom Cruise? Maybe Rob Lowe? What do you mean don’t be so silly?

So let’s see. Somebody tells this kid running for Vice President that he’s no Jack Kennedy. Well, you’re no Jack Kennedy either, pal! Adlai Stevenson maybe. Has anybody seen Waldo? He’s probably shacked up with that vixen, Carmen Sandiego again. I don’t know what she sees in him; I mean he’s such a nerd. Jimmy Swaggert has sinned, really? I’m shocked. Did you know only little people pay taxes? That isn’t fair, Leona. Big people should pay taxes too. Tattoo should hold a protest on Fantasy Island.

Did you see that guy Dukakis driving a tank? I know I want to him to be President. He’d be tough on the Russkies, or at least the Canadians. Hey, did you lose weight, Oprah? Oh, you gained it back, well, it happens. No, I didn’t break Geraldo’s nose. I didn’t steal Imelda’s shoes either. Will the Orioles ever win a game? Is Jimmy the Greek really Greek? I know he’s not at CBS anymore, the loudmouth. Do you have a naked gun? Put some clothes on it then.

Well, I found my dark handsome figure. It’s a bobblehead of Rain Man. Very funny, Miss Astrologer lady. Anyway, here is my top twenty-five of 1988.

Event of the year: Joe Isuzu elected President of the United States, trust me.

Fad:  Flag burning

Babe of the Year: Divine

Scandal of the Year: George Bush uncovers Liberals in the Democratic Party.

Movie or TV show to barf to: Full House

What we could have done without: Crack

Pet of the year: Bubbles the Chimp

Other Tidbits: Russia wins the war in Afghanistan, Noriega says no to drugs, nobody boycotts the Olympics, Michael Dukakis crashes a tank into a Toyota, Michael Dukakis executes the Detroit Tigers, Bush beats up Dan Rather, Jerry Falwell loses to Larry Flynt, has to read Hustler for the rest of his life, Oliver North joins the Rockettes, The Baltimore Orioles win a game, Jimmy Swaggert has sinned, Nancy Reagan summons the Ghost of Christmas Future, Dan Quayle becomes the first Vice President still in Kindergarten, Geraldo Rivera opens Mike Tyson’s vault; gets his nose broken, Yogi Bear starts the Yellowstone Fire, Stephen Hawking publishes War and Peace, The Rain Man exposed as a fraud; he can’t make it rain after all.

Musically it’s another interesting year as I have my first hip-hop album on this chart as well as a New Age classic. It’s mostly modern rock though of course. Anyway, here we go…

1)  Public Enemy- It Takes a Nation of Millions To Hold Us Back

2)  Sonic Youth- Daydream Nation

3)  Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds- Tender Prey

4)  They Might Be Giants- Lincoln

5)  Enya- Watermark

6)  U2- Rattle and Hum

7)  Traveling Wilburys- Travelving Wilburys Vol 1

8)  American Music Club- California

9)  Beat Happening- Jamboree

10)  Morrissey- Viva Hate

11)  Robyn Hitchcock and the Egyptians- Globe of Frogs

12)  Steve Earle- Copperhead Road

13)  Sugarcubes- Life’s Too Good

14)  REM- Green

15)  Siouxsie and the Banshees- Peepshow

16)  Smithereens- Green Thoughts

17)  Pixies- Surfer Rosa

18)  Sam Phillips- The Indescribable Wow

19)  Living Colour- Vivid

20)  The Church- Starfish

21)  Camper Van Beethoven- Our Beloved Revolutionary Sweetheart

22)  Erasure- The Innocents

23)  Pet Shop Boys- Introspective

24)  Crowded House- Temple of Low Men

25)  Dead Milkmen- Beezelbubba

This one was really close. I went with Public Enemy for the top slot because of the subject matter. I’ve always liked eighties political hip-hop (we knew it as rap then) and nobody did it better than Public Enemy. Pity that Flavor Flav had to become VH-One’s celebriality mascot later. Sonic Youth with their amazing Daydream Nation comes in a close second while Nick Cave scores with my favorite album from him. The quirky TMBG and new-age Enya round out my top five. Notables in my top ten include the Traveling Wilburys, my surprise, and Beat Happening while other albums to check out include Steve Earle, a surprising album by Siouxsie, the Pixies, and Sam Phillips who we will be hearing from later (I’m a softie for nineties female artists). I also suddenly realize that I like the Pet Shop Boys a lot better than I originally thought.

Biggest Surprise- American Music Club- California

I’m a huge fan of what is known as Indie rock/Americana. As of this writing I hadn’t heard a lot from American Music Club and we’ll see how they fare later. I am familiar with Mark Eitzel but I didn’t really know what to expect. What I got was something that in some ways reminded me of Nebraska, only not as stark. I have a feeling I’m going to be playing Eitzel and company a lot.

Biggest Disappointment- Let’s Active- Every Dog Has It’s Day

For a while, this trio of a guy and two girls (lucky stiff) was on the forefront of the jangle pop movement in the eighties, but this album is frankly a bit flat. I’ve had bigger disappointments to be sure, but if you asked me to name one song on the album (which I’ve listened to several times), I couldn’t tell you. That’s not a ringing endorsement.

Honorable Mention- Patti Smith- Dream of Life, Leonard Cohen- I’m Your Man, Edie Brickell and the New Bohemians- Shooting Rubberbands At the Stars, Tracy Chapman- Tracy Chapman, Talking Heads- Naked

Stinker of the Year-  Big Mouth- Quite Not Right

Metal, meet chalkboard. Maybe these guys were auditioning to be the next Spinal Tap. One thing for sure, they do a bad job of being the Beastie Boys of Heavy Metal. I guess Metal Rap works, sort of. Don’t forget to catch Food Fight and Your Mutha.

And down goes another year. Only twenty-nine more to go. We’ve been doing this for a while now, haven’t we? Well, stick around, 1989 is next. See you then.