2000

Hey, we survived Y2K, go figure.

I’m now at the beginning of the millennium, though technically I’m at the end of the old millennium because there never was a year zero. Does that mean Y2K is going to happen at the end of this year? I’m so confused.

There’s this kid named Elian who’s in the middle of a custody dispute. His Daddy wants to return him to Cuba but his mother’s parents say he can’t so Janet Reno sends in the storm troopers in what has to be one of the great photo ops of all time. You know, maybe we should start thinking for ourselves instead of being swayed by staged photo ops, I mean the kid’s happy now; isn’t that all that matters? Of course if the storm troopers were sicced on Billy- or her either…

Hey, do you know there’s an election going on? Yeah, it’s between that guy that invented the internet and the guy that doesn’t like fuzzy math. They still don’t know who won the election because Chad messed the ballots up. The talking dog transported to 2037 and he says they still don’t know who won. They let the fuzzy math guy in anyway.

Hey, who wants to be a millionaire? I don’t know, who wants to marry a millionaire? Who wants to be on Survivor?  Susan probably thinks I’m a rat (or is that a snake? I’m so confused).

Hey, have you downloaded the latest songs on Napster? Lars doesn’t like it because he’s not rich enough or something. The record industry doesn’t either because it’s harder for them to gouge the public. It doesn’t stop them from short changing the artists though. Eminem should write a song about them.

Well they elected ‘ Or Her Either’ to the Senate even though she’s not from New York. Well at least they didn’t vote for ‘Him’ this time. I guess she’s going to want to run for President next. Hey, they freed Willy. Aren’t the Backstreet Boys cute? And the Brooks Brothers are rioting, Help!

Well, let’s get away from the madness shall we and review my top twenty-five for the year 2000, shall we?

Bye, bye, bye.

Event of the year: Monica Lewinsky elected New York Senator

Fad: Fuzzy Math

Babes of the Year: Powerpuff Girls

Scandal of the Year: Y2K kicks in and California sinks into the ocean

Movie or TV show to barf to: Battlefield Earth

What we could have done without: Dennis Miller

Pet of the year: Lars Ulrich

Other Tidbits: The United States didn’t know who to elect as President; Alice Cooper didn’t run, The Supreme Court awards the Presidency to Judge Judy, The US turns Panama over to Costa Rica, Regis Philbin stunned that nobody wants to be a millionaire, Susan Hawk eats Kelly Wiglesworth on Survivor, Darth Vader has a heart attack but becomes Vice President anyway, Dr. Laura Schlesinger comes out as a drag queen, Harry Potter revealed to be just a kid, Al Gore invents the internet, George Bush drinks beer, The New Orleans Saints win the Subway Series, American Online and Time Warner merge to become Walmart, Dot Com Bubble bursts from eating too many burritos, The 50 Ft Woman attacks the World’s Largest Ferris Wheel.

So here we are in the 21^st century (or is it still the 20^th?). Anyway, another interesting year in music. So let’s give it a whirl…

1) Grandaddy- The Sopftware Slump

2)  Bright Eyes- Fevers and Mirrors

3)  PJ Harvey- Stories From the City, Stories From the Sea

4)  Johnny Cash- American 3: Solitary Man

5)  New Pornographers- Mass Romantic

6)  Elliott Smith- Figure 8

7)  Radiohead- Kid A

8)  Aimee Mann- Bachelor No.2…

9)  XTC- Apple Venus 2/ Wasp Star

10)  Neko Case- Furnace Room Lullaby

11)  Lambchop- Nixon

12)  Modest Mouse- The Moon and Antarctica

13)  Apples in Stereo- The Discovery of a World Inside the Moon

14)  Sleater-Kinney- All Hands on the Bad One

15)  Mountain Goats- the Coroner’s Gambit

16)  Steve Earle- Transcendental Blues

17)  Dandy Warhols- Thirteen Tales From Urban Bohemia

18)  Queens of the Stone Age- Rated R

19)  Eels- Daisies of the Galaxy

20)  Death Cab For Cutie- We Have the Facts and We’re Voting Yes

21)  Fatboy Slim- Halfway Between the Gutter and the Stars

22)  Clinic- Internal Wrangler

23)  Hefner- We Love the City

24)  16 Horsepower- Secret South

25)  Avalanches- Since I Met You

The twenty-first century is off to a good start despite a certain disputed election. I went with Grandaddy for the top slot. It was somewhat electronic but what I really liked were some of the melodies. Their output in general is like that. Bright Eyes (and Conor Oberst) is another band I’m really going to like. Mainstays like PJ Harvey and Johnny Cash also score big while another favorite group of the Millennium of mine, the New Pornographers, round out the top five. XTC and Neko Case especially impress me in the top ten. Other gems in my top-twenty-five include Sleater-Kinney, the Dandy Warhols, Fatboy Slim (in a surprise), and Clinic.

Biggest Surprise- Lambchop- Nixon

To be honest I really hadn’t heard this album before my project. I knew of this album from various searches but I didn’t really give it a good listen until now.

And what a gem. The album is solid throughout from some slowcore to something that sounds a little like soft rock seventies. It’s an unusual album but that’s the strength of it. Thumbs up.

Biggest Disappointment- Godspeed You Black Emperor!- Lift Your Skinny Fists Like Antennas To Heaven.

First of all the title is way too long. In all seriousness though, so is the album which consists of four super long tracks that last well over an hour in total. I’m not sure if it’s Godspeed’s stab at new age or what, but it isn’t especially exciting.  I guess I expected something a little heavier for want of a better word, especially considering the positive reviews.

Honorable Mention-  White Stripes- De Stijl, Belle and Sebastian- Fold Your Hand Child Walk Like a Peasant, Primal Scream- Xtrmntr, Yo La Tengo- And Then Nothing Turned Inside Out,  Cat Power- The Covers Record

Stinker of the Year-  Baha Men- Who Let the Dogs Out.

Well, the new millennium knew how to get started, didn’t it? We were serenaded to Who Let the Dogs Out every time we attended a football game. Well, I guess they had to replace Gary Glitter with something. The album may not be the worse in the world, but , oh, that song. (AAAGH!)

Well, that was a good start, now we get into the new normal (boy I bet that gets you all excited). Anyhow, see you next time.