2009

Look up in the sky. It’s a bird; It’s a plane. No, it’s Balloon Boy.

This must mean I’m in the year 2009 where Obama rules the land even though he was born in Hawaii ,which everyone knows is a foreign country; just ask the birthers. Do birthers give birth to babies or something? I thought they were called midwives. Anyway, some pilot lands a plane in the Hudson River cause he didn’t know where the airport was. Either that or a bunch of birds were nesting in his plane.

Meanwhile, You betcha Sarah resigns as Alaska Governor because she couldn’t be Vice President or something, An octopus has a bunch of kids and is now known as the Octomom. Some beauty queen (no, not Sarah Palin) says she doesn’t like gays getting married and Donald Trump fires her. And she wasn’t even on The Apprentice. Some golden boy swimmer gets caught with his pants down; okay, so actually he got caught smoking out of a bong. And now somebody has to die before he’s labeled the Lion of the Senate. Did you know Megan wants to marry a millionaire? I want to marry a billionaire because a million doesn’t get you anywhere these days. C’mon, Bill Gates, dump your frumpy wife and marry a real woman. I won’t take you for much, trust me, I’m related to Joe Isuzu.

Some congressman who’s Dennis the Menace’s neighbor or something tells President Hope he lies. Well, of course he lies; we all have to sleep sometime. And that Kanye, he just cracks me up. He always wants attention. I bet he crashes the Super Bowl next because the New England Patriots cut him or something.

Well, I gotta go. The talking dog wants to crash some party at the White House. Meanwhile, have a beer.

And bye, MJ, it was fun L

Event of the year: The Beer Summit

Fad: Trying to overthrow Obama

Babe of the Year: The Octomom

Scandal of the Year: Somali Pirates find out Captain Phillips is not a brand of rum.

Movie or TV show to barf to: VH-1’s celebriality shows

What we could have done without: Bernie Madoff and his Ponzi Scheme

Pet of the year: Michael Phelps

Other Tidbits:  Obama discovers that No, We Can’t, Joe Wilson screams You Lie to Obama and eats his underwear, Sully proves he can captain a boat too, The auto industry is saved by reinstituting slavery, Air Force One crashes into the Empire State Building; King Kong has a fit, ACORN busted by Fox News, Michael Jackson dies in a Paris road tunnel, Mark Sanford goes missing on the Appalachian Trail in Argentina, Sarah Palin resigns as Alaska Governor to create a death panel, Obama wins the Nobel Peace Prize for not being George Bush, Kanye West interrupts Taylor Swift to announce Obama doesn’t like black people, Waterboarding added as an Olympic sport.

And so we are a decade into the 21^st century. And what tidbits do we have for 2009. Well, let’s find out…

1) Girls- Album

2) The Decemberists- The Hazards of Love

3)  Neko Case- Middle Cyclone

4)  The XX- The XX

5)  Wilco- Wilco (The Album)

6)  Mos Def- The Ecstatic

7)  PJ Harvey- A Woman a Man Walked By

8)  Depeche Mode- Sounds of the Universe

9)  The Flaming Lips- Embryonic

10)  Conor Oberst and the Mystic Valley Band- Outer South

11)  Camera Obscura- My Maudlin Career

12)  Bob Dylan- Together Through Life

13)  The Eels-Hombre Loco

14)  Avett Brothers- I and Love and You

15)  The Builders and the Butchers- Salvation is a Deep Well

16)  Bill Callahan- I Wish I Were an Eagle

17)  Grizzly Bear- Vecktamist

18)  King Khan and the BBQ Show- Invisible Girl

19)  Bruce Springsteen- Working on a Dream

20)  Animal Collective- Merriwether Post Pavillion

21)  Ty Segall- Lemons

22)  Neil Young- Fork in the Road

23)  AC Newman- Get Guilty

24)  Boston Spaceships- Zero to 99

25)  The Oh Sees- Help

We have another decent list of albums. In fact, a few albums I thought for sure would make the cut were pushed out by albums I listened to later. Anyway, my favorite album this year was from what I believe was a two man band out of San Francisco called Girls (yes, it is a strange name to call a band of men). Album basically sounds like retro early seventies to me. It’s a great diamond in the rough. The Decemberists get the silver with their great concept album while Neko Case, the xx, my other new faves this year, and the always dependable Wilco round out my top five. I really have three surprises in my lower ten, the other two being great comeback albums from Depeche Mode and the Flaming Lips respectively. As far as my top twenty five goes, I’ll go with the nutty King Khan, a great solo effort by New Pornographers frontman AC Newman, and the always dependable Bob Pollard and his Boston Spaceships for my gems.

Biggest Surprise- Mos Def- The Ecstatic

I’m generally not the biggest fan of Hip Hop/Rap though there have been exceptions (read: Public Enemy and Arrested Development, also De La Soul). Well, add Mos Def to the list. He’s a refreshing change from the conceited likes of Kanye West and Puff Daddy or P Diddy or whatever he calls himself these days. Then again, the Brits seem to do it better than the Americans in almost every sub-genre. Why not in Hip Hop too? Love this album.

Biggest Disappointment- Manic Street Preachers- Journal For Plague Lovers

Well I guess all great bands have to bottom out somewhere. For the Manics, for me, it’s this one. For a while there, they seemed to be the greatest hard rock not really metal band out there. This album doesn’t impress me very much though. I hope they don’t end up going the way of U2 because some of my favorite music of the Millennium happens to be from these guys (the Manics). Anyway, I hope they still have something left in the tank.

Honorable Mention-  Jay Reatard- Watch Me Fall, Howling Bells- Radio Wars, St. Vincent- Actor, Yo La Tengo- Popular Songs, Reigning Sounds- Love and Curses

Stinker of the Year- Hotleg- Red Light Fever

I think somebody forgot to tell these guys the eighties are over. This is the same guy that fronted the Darkness. Somehow he sounded a little better with them. This one sounds like that guy in the Dr. Pepper commercial (and he was on American Idol too). Whatever the case, you only want to listen to this if you’re curious as if it’s live or it’s Memorex. It certainly isn’t the sweet one.

And now we will be entering the period where we ask, is it two thousand ten or is it twenty ten? It seemed like saying nineteen whatever was a lot easier. Oh well, anyway, see you next time.