1972

Boy he’s annoying. Would you grumble just once, smiley face?

I’m now in 1972 and a bunch of plumbers are trying to re-elect President Dick. They’re good plumbers. They fixed all the pipes at this big hotel called Watergate in less than a day. Unfortunately, they forgot one pipe and the place flooded. Now they’re in trouble. I hope they don’t try to fix the White House- they might make the President resign or something.

They want Archie Bunker to run for President. I think he should run for President of China even though he hates the Chinese. Then again, he hates the blacks, Jews, Hispanics, Catholics, people from Jersey, geez, Archie, don’t you like anybody? Even Edith?

They’ve invented this new game called Pong. It’s the most exciting game I’ve ever seen. Basically it’s like playing tennis on a computer, only you’re not. What sorts of excitement. I bet they’ll never top this.

Vito Corleone wants me to squeal like a pig. Either that or I got my movies all mixed up again. Talking dog, you have to stop letting me stay up for those midnight movies. Do you know how many times I’ve seen Pink Flamingos now? No, I won’t eat…

President Dick is in China. He should grow a Fu Manchu mustache if he wants to be popular. No matter; he gets re-elected anyway. I think I’ll watch some Mike Douglas. I hear John and Yoko have Chuck Berry as a guest and I can’t wait to see his eyes pop out when Yoko wails.

Oh, and Ziggy plays guitar. Who is Ziggy anyway? He’s seems a little glamorous to me.

Well, anyway, here comes my list for 1972…

Event of the year: Jane Fonda visits Vietnam and promises to end Communism in China.

Fad:  Ping Pong while playing Chess

Babe of the Year: Alice Cooper

Scandal of the Year: Archie Bunker kept off the ballot in the Presidential Election

Movie or TV show to barf to: The scene in Pink Flamingos where Divine eats dog poo.

What we could have done without: The Munich Olympics Massacre

Pet of the year: Mark Spitz

Other Tidbits: Nixon visits China and marries a panda, plumbers jailed for fixing pipes at the Watergate Hotel, Yoko sings on Mike Douglas, John Lennon being spied on by plumbers, England not given back to the Irish, George Wallace is shot because Arthur Bremer hates comedians, Michael Jackson sings to a rat, Nelson Beatty forced to squeal like a pig, Superfly defeats Shaft for the Heavyweight title, George McGovern has a nice day but still doesn’t get elected, Evel Knievel is actually not evil at all; a little mixed up maybe.

Okay, silly season is over. Let’s continue the glam portion of my charts while school is still out (for summer).

1)  David Bowie- Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders From Mars

2)  Lou Reed- Transformer

3)  Stevie Wonder- Talking Book

4)  Deep Purple- Machine Head

5)  Elton John- Honky Chateau

6)  Curtis Mayfield- Superfly

7) The Rolling Stones- Exile on Main Street

8)  Big Star- #1 Record

9)  Electric Light Orchestra- Electric Light Orchestra

10) Neil Young- Harvest

11) T Rex- The Slider

12)  Joni Mitchell- For the Roses

13)  Aphrodite’s Child- 666

14)  Stevie Wonder- Music of My Mind

15)  The Sensational Alex Harvey Band- Framed

16)  Raspberries- Raspberries

17)  Paul Simon- Paul Simon

18)  The Moody Blues- Seventh Sojurn

19)  Emerson Lake and Palmer- Trilogy

20)  Genesis- Foxtrot

21)  The Wackers- Hot Wacks

22)  The Temptations- All Directions

23)  Aretha Franklin- Young Gifted and Black

24)  Yes- Close to the Edge

25)  Steve Miller Band- Recall the Beginning… A Journey From Eden

The quality of albums starts to go down a little this year (singles would have been another story). Still it’s pretty high quality at the top as Bowie again leads the charts with his seminal album. Glam rock and similar sounding records are the rage this year and Lou Reed gets the silver this year. Stevie Wonder begins his golden period (actually it started last year with Where I’m Coming From) with Talking Book. He also scores with Music In My Mind. Deep Purple’s classic comes in at four and Elton John rounds out the top five with his best effort. Big Star is a standout in the lower ten, while Joni Mitchell surprises at number twelve. Other standouts include the Raspberries, the Wackers, and the Temptations.

Biggest Surprise- The Sensational Alex Harvey Band- Framed.

Did I mention I’m really into glam rock? Anyhow, I didn’t know what to expect from these guys given the title track (which I love) was the only thing I heard from them. The whole album though is excellent from beginning to end. Actually, Alex Harvey probably doesn’t fit with the glam later. Yeah I can hear Bowie but there is no T Rex or (thankfully) Gary Glitter. Maybe that’s the album’s strength. Alex Harvey charts his own course and comes up with a nice piece of work.

Biggest Disappointment- John Lennon and Yoko Ono- Sometime in New York City.

Is it the worst album ever, no. But geez what in the name of Paul McCartney made Lennon think he would be welcomed with open arms with a song titled Woman is the N***** of the World? There are a couple decent tracks on the album, but overall this album rates right down there with their other music opus, Two Virgins.

Honorable Mention- Steely Dan- Can’t Buy a Thrill, Argent- All Together Now, Van Morrison- St. Dominic’s Preview, Todd Rundgren- Something/Anything, Raspberries- Fresh

Stinker of the Year-  Captain Hook and His Crew- Shiver My Timbers

Shiver Me Timbers. It’s a gospel kids’ album. Let’s hear the fun Captain Hook (shouldn’t Peter Pan be suing?) and his ship mates sing the joys of salvation. Watch him change the lyrics to Joy to The World (shouldn’t Three Dog Night sue?). I just thought of something. Should he have maybe used a better album title? (That girl really shivers my timbers :D). Maybe Hugh Hefner should sue too.

Well, that’s it for this year. Next week we go into the wonderful world of Watergate so I’ll see you then.