1969

No, talking dog, don’t pull his finger!

It’s now 1969 where peace and love reign in between getting your heads bashed in at an anti-war protest. President Dick has implemented Vietnamization which promises Chicken and Rice soup in every pot. John has a new girlfriend but they stay in bed all the time; that’s why the Beatles break up. Neil Armstrong discovers the Moon isn’t made of cheese after all. Of course everyone knows cheese comes from Pluto (no, not the dog- that’d be so gross). They have this show on TV about this cult called the Brady Bunch. The little girl is in curls, poor thing. The kid president’s brother drives a car into a river and gets re-elected Senator anyway. And I think those Green Stamps are on the way out. I think if you got enough of them you could get a date with the Jolly Green Giant.

They have a rock festival where they preach peace, love, and music. Unfortunately, the Hell’s Angels have other ideas. Oh, yeah, they had some festival at Woodstock too.

And thank God New York finally won a sports title after two years when they beat up all those powerful teams from Baltimore after winning everything for the last three hundred years, except when they didn’t even have a major league team and when somebody else actually won, you know, like the Yankees (no bitterness  from this Baltimorean here :D).

By the way, Joe Namath wears pantyhose.

Event of the year: Martha Quinn becomes the first man on the Moon.

Fad: Drinking Tang in Space

Babe of the Year: Yoko Ono

Scandal of the Year: John and Yoko confess they are two virgins

Movie or TV show to barf to: The Castle of Fu Manchu

What we could have done without: Paul is Dead rumors

Pet of the year: Spiro Agnew

Other Tidbits: The Royal Wedding is shown on TV when Tiny Tim marries Miss Vicky, John and Yoko pose for Playboy then go to bed, Hippies at Woodstock prove they can litter as much as adults, John and Yoko have a bed in and ask what the hell are you doing in our bedroom?, Nixon starts the first lottery; the lucky winner gets a free trip to Vietnam, Nixon announces the Vietnamization of France, Ted Kennedy drives a boat off Chappaquiddick Bridge, The Rolling Stones hire the Hell’s Angels as peacekeepers; they knock out Marty Balin (really, they do), Monty Python is elected Prime Minister.

1)  The Rolling Stones- Let It Bleed

2)  The Beatles- Abbey Road

3)  The Who- Tommy

4)  King Crimson- In the Court of the Crimson King

5)  The Kinks- Arthur ( Or the Decline of the British Empire)

6)  The Velvet Underground- The Velvet Underground

7)  Buffy Saint-Marie- Illuminations

8)  Led Zeppelin- Led Zeppelin II

9)  Fairport Convention- Unhalfbricking

10)  David Bowie- David Bowie (Space Oddity)

11)  Sly and the Family Stone- Stand!

12)  The Stooges- The Stooges

13)  The MC5- Kick Out the Jams

14)  Fairport Convetion- Liege and Lief

15)  Neil Young- Everybody Knows This Is Nowhere

16)  Morgen- Morgen

17)  Isaac Hayes- Hot Buttered Soul

18)  Jefferson Airplane- Volunteers

19)  John Lennon- Live Peace in Toronto 1969

20)  The Impressions- The Young Mod’s Forgotten Story

21)  Led Zeppelin- Led Zeppelin

22)  Frank Zappa- Hot Rats

23)  The Byrds- Dr. Byrds and Mr. Hyde

24)  Crosby Stills and Nash- Crosby Stills and Nash

25)  Joe Byrd and the Field Hippies- The American Metaphysical Circus

The Beatles’ dominance of my charts end this year as the Rolling Stones do the impossible by relegating Abbey Road to second place. Let It Bleed is, for me, my favorite Stones’ album. An interesting title to be sure as they were certainly aware of the disastrous Beatles’ recording session early this year. Abbey Road certainly deserves to be number one (how does it feel to be on the other foot for once? XD). It was certainly a great way for the Fab Four to go out before trying to kill each other. Tommy comes in at three and is my favorite Who album. King Crimson kicks off progressive rock with their brilliant album. I could listen to it forever. The Kinks continue their roll and the Velvet Underground come up with another classic. I also have to give a shout out to Buffy St. Marie with her excellent piece of folk psychedelia. Fairport Convention score with two more standouts. Led Zeppelin strikes twice too. I also have to mention Isaac Hayes who is another surprise for me. I wonder if Hot Butter Soul is where he got his inspiration for Chef  (lol). I also have to mention the spooky Azrachel in the honorable mentions. Rumor has it that they recorded the album in a cave. Whatever the case, the sound comes out perfectly.

Biggest Surprise- Sly and the Family Stone- Stand!.

Yeah, I know they had a couple hits on the album but the album tracks are funky as Hell. Every song except maybe the overlong Sex Machine is a standout. Yeah, I really like this album.

Biggest Disappointment- Janis Joplin- Kozmic Blues.

 I went with Janis for this one. She wasn’t the same after leaving Big Brother. I think she was much better when she was with a real band. Of course they needed her too because they were never really heard from again. Janis is fun on Dick Cavett though.

Honorable Mention- Creedence Clearwater Revival- Green River, Arzachel- Arzachel, Johnny Cash- At San Quentin, Leonard Cohen- Songs From a Room, Moody Blues- On the Threshold of a Dream.

Stinker of the Year-  Giant Crab- Cool It… Helios.

Yeah I know, you we’re expecting Philosophy of the World, the Plan 9 From Outer Space of all bad albums.

But I owned this one, and believe me, once you get past the fake sitar intro and you start hearing the bizarre narration from a guy that sounds like Gary Owens, well. let’s just say I wanted my two dollars back from the record store I got it from, Ugh!

And that concludes the sixties portion of the program. Come back later for my top twenty-five of 1970.