2017

FAKE NEWS! FAKE NEWS! President Trump is God, FAKE NEWS!

And here I am finally transported to the year 2017 in what is the first year AT (After Trump). Actually it’s during Trump but , oh those semantics.

And what a year we have. Sexual misconduct charges are the latest fad since hula hoops. Watch as careers disintegrate at the blink of an eye, Kevin Spacey, Charlie Rose, Matt Lauer, Donald Trump… okay, well not him.

Of course there are other things going this year as Kim Jong Un is taunting the Donald and the Donald threatens to flatten North Korea. Of course China may have something to say about that and then Russia will have something to say about that which means the UK… geez, guys, take it to the playground, won’t ya?

Yes, my gherkins, 2017 is all about the Donald who is getting even more adulation than he was when he was doing the Apprentice. Of course, he’s pissed that they replaced him with the Arnold. I guess he wants to be President too now. Where are those birthers when you need them? Oh, yeah, they’re still trying to prove Obama is a fraud. Um, too late, guys.

Oh, well, I’ve had enough excitement this year. I think I’ll get a Frappacino at the Starbucks by Mara Lago while checking out my profile on Facebook. Oh,wait, I don’t have a profile. I guess I’ll check that Horman guy to see what he’s saying about me now, what a dunce!

Okay, here it is, my final top twenty-five (until next year anyway), enjoy.

Event of the year: Theresa May’s power grab backfires.

Fad:  Sexual misconduct accusations

Babe of the Year:  Melissa McCarthy as Scott Spicer

Scandal of the Year: Kevin Spacey blows his chance to be President

Movie or TV show to barf to: Bad Mom’s Christmas

What we could have done without: Gloria Allred (again)

Pet of the year:  Steve Bannon

Other Tidbits: Alabama almost elects a child molester to the Senate, Congress cuts taxes for Donald Trump and Scrooge McDuck, everybody accused of sexual harassment except Gary Glitter, Theresa May calls for elections in Britain because she has too much power, North Korea gets the bomb while being taunted by Trump, 2 Broke Girls gets cancelled mercifully, NFL players protest by singing Oh Canada.

So that was the fun that was 2017. So what about the music? Well it took all of 2018, but here it is; the top twenty-five of 2017…

1) Granddaddy- Last Place

2) Connor Oberst- Salutations

3) Father John Misty- Pure Comedy

4) The Regrettes- Feel Your Feelings Fool

5) Magnetic Fields- 50 Song Memoir

6) King Gizzard and the Lizard Wizards- Flying Microtonal Banana

7) Ty Segall- Ty Segall

8) Black Angels- Death Song

9) Aimee Mann- Mental Illness

10) Peter Silbermann- Impermanence

11) Elbow- Little Fictions

12) Laura Marling- Semper Farina

13) Courtney Barrett and Kurt Vile- Gotta See Lice

14) Black Lips- Satan’s Graffiti or God’s Art?

15) Priests- Nothing Feels Natural

16) Iron and Wine- Beast Epic

17) Flotation Toy Machine- The Machine That Made Us

18) Mount Eerie- A Crow Looked at Me

19) Thundercat- Drunk

20) Peter Perrett- How the West Was Won

21) The Shins- Heartworms

22) New Poronographers- Whiteout Conditions

23) Weezer- Pacific Daydream

24) Fleet Foxes- Crack-Up

25) Marika Hackman- I’m Not Your Man

And here we are with the last year of my little ambitious project and it’s going out with a bang. This is one of my better top tens in a long time, led by Granddaddy’s reunion album. It’s like they never went away and it’s their best since Sopfthware Slump. Conor Oberst follows with his best effort in a few years while Father John Misty, a great teen group, the Regrettes (though the lead singer needs to wash her mouth out with soap :D ), and my surprise round out the top five. The lower ten is pretty impressive too when you look at great gems from King Gizzard, the Black Angels, and Aimee Mann. Gems in my top twenty-five include the Black Lips, Flotation Toy Machine, Thundercat, and Marika Hackman.

Biggest Surprise- Magnetic Fields- 50 Song Memoir

Magnetic Fields hasn’t really done a lot for me since 69 Love Songs. And I knew going into this album, that it would be, well, ambitious, and very long. But the songs are solid. It’s basically the sound of 69 Love Songs with some variations. What it turns out to be is a five disc pastiche of whimsy and a lot of retrospection. This is Stephen Merritt at his best. Love this album.

Biggest Disappointment- Bob Dylan- Triplicate

Look, one album of Frank Sinatra covers was enough, don’t you think? Yeah, I know, the guy has had a long career and is now well into his seventies so he deserves some slack, right? Well, maybe, but it doesn’t mean I have to like the album. Well, what do you expect from a protest singer who went on to do a Victoria’s Secret commercial? Oh, well, at least he hasn’t done an album of show tunes yet (has he?).

Honorable Mention- Jesca Hoop- Memories Are Now, King Gizzard and the Lizard Wizards- Sketches of Brunswick East, Sharon Jones and the Dap Kings- Soul of a Woman, Juilen Baker- Turn Out the Lights, Sun Kil Moon- Common As Light and Love are Red Valleys of Blood

Stinker of the Year-  Betty Buckley – Story Songs.

Betty Buckley was of course Dick Van Patten’s squeeze on Eight is Enough since they killed off the first wife. Yes, she is singing show tunes (I guess). She sings adequately, I guess. That works because she acted adequately too. But, hey, it beats having to listen to Corey Feldman, Miley Cyrus, and Crazy Frog. And now I don’t have to listen to any of you nitwits anymore, MUHAHAHAHA!

Well, I guess that’s it. I hope you enjoyed the top twenty-fives as much as I did. I always like to say this, but the only top twenty-five (top ten, top five, top ten thousand) that really matters is your own. Well, these were mine so there!

So thanks for indulging me with this project. Bye, for now.  :)